Right. This is over.

www.livejournal.com/users/definitiv

Move over now, the rest of you. Join the LJ revolution! Viva La Revolucion!

Bumped into Si Ming today, bumped into him at Zouk last month at Way Out West's gig. Too bad I couldn't stay to see Alby and Paul and whoever else was there. LOL I haven't been back here for so long! Doubt anyone is reading this. I will grow up to be a nomad. The LJ is my 3rd blog already. How can you expect the body to stay if the mind wanders already?

Buh-bye feyism, it was good while it lasted.
- posted by fey @ 9:56 PM

 
since last post, i've been through the cardiac arrests only true love can induce, passed out from BMT, on the verge of passing out of SISPEC , wrote half a pathetic poem, put off posting on my LJ for damn long, and just very recently pleasantly reminded i still have friends who visit this emotional slate for my jc days.. nothing much to say, think i'll just post a playlist like the way some gruff people grunt during conversations.

Weekend Playlist v.Grunt

RJD2 - June feat. Copywrite
Jet - Look What You've Done
Blur - Tender
Blur - Coffee & TV
RHCP - Under The Bridge
Badly Drawn Boy - Four Leave Clover
Deepest Blue - Give It Away
M Craft - Dragonfly
Toad The Wet Sprocket - All I Want
The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
Dashboard Confessionals - Vindicated
Frank Sinatra - It Had To Be You
Miles Davis - Kind Of Blue
Counting Crows - Accidently In Love
Etienne de Crecy - Rhythm & Beat



- posted by fey @ 6:49 AM

 
happy 1st month anniversary dear! it's always about eights ;) fey, flue, and furia, never forget.
- posted by fey @ 11:59 PM

 
The Aftermath (in case i still have readers at this ghost-blog)

English Literature - A

History - B

Economics - B

General Paper - A2

nothing to hoot about, but respectable nonetheless.

-on a happier note, 'The Train' was published in issue 46 of the2ndrule

-on an even happier note, i got back together with roxanne.
- posted by fey @ 8:17 AM

 
Silence is Water
-for the girl who could love you

Picture the boy who could love you.
Clutching the vulnerability of a floral hope.
When people speak of the rose
They fail to realise that the perfect flower is
His clutch:
Two-handed, cross-fingered,
Constantly muscling hope from gravity.

It is a lurching trust you have no counterbalance to.
So there will be silence,
As you wager two lifetimes on what is not said.

Yet what colour is the taste
Of water to a blind boy?
In the shapelessness of silence
Potential confronts you.

And as the pool rises exponentially, inside
The bubble of you two,
The pressure to speak becomes its own lock-
For to open the mouth,
You will either have to drink or drown.

- posted by fey @ 6:18 PM

 
Away Is A Way

i.
a kiss is a hug of lips
is the firm grip of holding hands
is contact is friction
is heat is passion
but is it love--

there is too much history
between you and me

ii.
christmas is your favourite holiday
and this christmas
my phone
(the kind that allows me to tag pictures to numbers)
lighted up the broken heart i tagged to your number
vibrating like hope or fervour
the flashing a reminder of transience

we talked about nothing in particular (the safest)
and after we hung up, on my way home
i kept staring at the yellow, forbidding strips on
the North-South Line platform and Bus 77.
the alighting steps on Bus 77 declared
"Standing on steps prohibited"

iii.
i could give this poem three endings.

iv.
the boy in me died, and the girl lived happily ever after
or
the boy in me remained friends, living the rest of his life as the somebody else
or
or
or

v.
i didn't meet you because it wasn't a coincidence
(and only coincidences are free-of-charge).
without contact there can be no friction.

vi.
it is the cold water running through a dispassionate heater that confirms my capacity for heat. it is only now that i remember how my Physics teacher used to stress that coldness was just one end of heat transfer. a cold region implied a hot one, and if it was coldness that i felt from the exchange, i hope it was warm enough for you because i never meant to steal your heat. without contact there can be no friction. i am the reactionary force to your every gesture; a Newton law, a marionette, a love but not the love.

away is a way

away is my way
- posted by fey @ 12:16 AM

 
The Flicker In The Neck

Out-of-the-blue kiss
Eyes will blink
Like a pulsating explosion
Evaluation, reflection
Then deliberation, as

The neck goes down and up
Flickering, a choking lightbulb
Each flicker a:

Can I

Should I

May I

Could you

Will you

Will I
Still.

The language of the body is more subtle than words
A twitch here,
A palpitation there
More primal than speech
I'll talk to you without mouths

So we never have to stop kissing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

inspired by Love Actually, Jamie ad Aurelia's parting. go watch.
- posted by fey @ 1:36 AM