haha i've been wanting to put this down but i just couldn't find the time. this is a note to myself that'll make for an interesting diary read 40 years down the road.

i hereby declare to have the hots for an 11 year old girl by the name of louise chng (or something like that, i'll confirm it after watching Singapore's Brainiest Kid finals tonight). she is so *sweeeeeeeeeeeeet* haha does this make me a paedophile? as long as i don't think queer thoughts it should be acceptable right :)

"why?!?!?", you ask? well for starters, a passable dress sense, well-placed lips, a cute, eager smile, nice haircut, and she'll probably be smart too :) she looks like a potential looker, and a nice, virtuous girl at that.

but i'm no pete townsend, so don't get all heavy on me yeah. :P

- posted by fey @ 6:19 PM

 
hah! looking at the proud owner of Endless Nights now!!! grovel before me :D

it has come to my attention that some of you might not have my LJ username, but i have no wish to broadcast this intimate journal to strangers, so if any of you would like to see it you can sms me or just drop a note in my mailbox :)

ave.


- posted by fey @ 8:39 PM

 
Neil Gaiman's Endless Nights is out!!!!!!!!!! *screams* when the fuck is KINO going to stock it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX i need a sandman FIX!

i'll marry anyone who gets me a copy before kino sells it. anyone. ye savvy?

i feel like a child all over again.
- posted by fey @ 4:38 PM

 
i.
the child delights himself
poring across the textbook
as a teacher drones on
summoning skeletal history
of a nation yet to find a voice

page 35 shows a bronze statue
arms folded in imperial pomposity
the child is taught that
he is the rightful founder
the one we should thank

for splitting the races
into expedient blocs
breeding miscommunication while
he manifested bureaucratic savings

for extracting the black brown yellow
out of a harmonic melange
and placing them side by side
drawing lines inbetween into emphasis

for paved roads and sanitary living
allowing cars to turn at right angles
(gradually minds thought at right angles too)
yes, clever raffles arranged all that
thank you says the child

5 years later
the child is in college
out of a national education system
and remembers that day he smiled at
the picture of raffles
thinking he was a hero

but smiles wryly now
wondering if affluence
civility and logical reasoning
makes us happier than we already were.

ii.
100 pages of social studies
does not impart a nation's history

coloured pictures and rounded figures
make for easy recollection , not grasp

to look is not to look into
to hear is not to listen

a museum with showcases of photos and artifacts
struggles to reproduce smells and swearwords

air-conditioning to resist the sweat
imagine the coolies chuckling above us

spotlighted displays to attract
spotlighted displays to distract

wax men frozen in 2-dimensional displays
warded off by red, warning ropes

as if to say: we'll never go back there
we must never learn back the old ways

wax men who cannot flinch when pinched
itching to fight or fuck or cry

but they'll never show you that side of human
as building are torn down one by two

plagues erected to appease the few
apathy is easy to appease

100 pages of social studies
cannot beat an hour with

any old man in the kopitiam
telling stories with arthritic fingers and

seventy year-old saliva
toothless smiles that said to me

how life is lived and cannot be taught
how history is real and cannot be indulged

- posted by fey @ 5:07 PM

 
poetry is when you prop the showerhead to jet at the top of your scalp, and then proceed to plug your ears with your forefingers. then you listen.
- posted by fey @ 8:16 PM